my full flight from all that has to do with church is at a standstill.. -I knew it'd come to this! [sigh] Thing is, a couple of nights ago I lay down to sleep, turned out the lights creating one's heart's most vulnerable moment of the day. I could simply feel God! -quite literally and down-to-earth, really and I do admit that it's what I've been hoping for for quite a while. My response was: "Arh, okay okay okay, God! Steady on, eh?! I know you've got some appropriate verse for me, so just hit me. You've got a ten-second window of opportunity, so make it a good verse, huh!" I listened like I used to train myself to and instantly ps. 28:3-4 popped into m'head, and it's a quite good scripture! I realized, I don't wanna be like other people cos of something I've felt for a long time but I've been unable to identify and verbalize: selfishness! I don't want to have myself at the centre of my life (v.3), just calling other people "friends." No, I want to give myself to my friends and receive a part of them aswell! Those are the kinds of relationships that I want.. It was quite a revelation for me!
Another thing is that God kinda proved himself to me aswell. He really is real and He really can speak. Now, my moral is at a point where I'm able to follow wholeheartedly! I'm not demanding too much of myself as I was before which lead to the end of my churchly activities. For a while, it's just God and me although I do attend a youth group where I receive ethical teachings.. [smile] 'tis all good!
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